The Days

You are probably wondering what we talk about all day. Well… 
Poop Talk

The obligatory: How was your poop? This gets asked every time one of us comes out of the bush carrying our tiny trowel and our toilet paper bag. Then comes a detailed description of the poop. Color, consistency, number of wipes, any exciting mishaps, what meal we think it was, if there is another poop expected that day or not. We are all pretty up to date on eachother’s pooping intimates. Seems normal. 

Culture Shock:

At some point I went off to take a poop and the usual shit talk started to occur. Mostly Kyle likes to imitate what he thinks my poops sound like, which is similar to the sound of pebbles hitting water: Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. He was making this noise when Cameron said scathingly: “What is that noise Kyle? The sound of poop hitting water?” As if the idea of poop hitting water was the silliest concept he had ever heard. There was an awkward pause and then I said, haltingly,”Yeah Cameron, like the sound poop makes in a toilet because toilets have water in them and that is where most people poop…” Another awkward pause. “Wow, I can’t believe I forgot about toilets…” 

Food Talk

Obviously there is a lot of food talk that goes on. Like the other day during a break when we got to talking about all the Pringles we would eat next time we got into town. Things took off in a Forest Gump-esque manner, with us listing all the Pringles in a thick southern drawl: BBQ Pringles, Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, Original Pringles, Sea Salt and Vinegar Pringles, Cheesy Nacho Pringles, Shrimp Pringles, Spicy Pringles, Sour Pringles, Pizza Pringles, Burger Pringles, Pudding Pringles, Nacho Pringles, Taco Pringles… It just kept going on and on. 

Farts

“Hey, Lindsey, guess whose fart that was?” 

“Uhhhhh, Kyle?” 

“Nope, that was mine! Man, you have only guessed, like, four out of the last ten!” 

Quotes

Cameron pretty much just quotes movies all day long. Top movie contenders are LOTR movies, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Austin Powers, and anything from SNL. But there are a lot of other movies that get quoted as well. Cameron treats it like a game show for Kyle, Kyle is responsible for guessing every quote, very few of which he gets right. 

Deep Thoughts: 

“Hey guys, I just realized, what if ticks and mosquitos and fleas and all those little bugs that are vectors for disease, what if they are trying to eradicate humans, just like we try to eradicate them with pesticides. What if they create the diseases in little labs and then try to spread the a round to all the humans in order to wipe us out? And Zika virus is just one of their newest strains, and it’s particularly nasty because they are trying to make us stop reproducing…” 

“Hm.”

Silence: 

There is a lot of silence as we spend time in our own heads. Occasionally someone will point something out or make a comment about a cloud or a rock. But mostly we are quiet. I honestly have no idea what the boys are thinking about. I am mostly having fake Spanish conversations as I navigate Kyle and I through Meixco on an imaginary vacation. So you know where my heads at… 

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As Edward Abbey said, "An indoor life is the next best thing to a premature burial."

8 thoughts on “The Days

  1. I knew the newlywed status of my marriage was over when I had to sling my rear end over a log for an emergency poo and my wife sat at the bottom of the hill, pointing and laughing at me. It came full circle four years later when we had out first child. I’ll spare you the details. She remembered that moment, not me. Love & poop, kids. Have fun on the trail.

  2. Back in the day you pooped in your chamber, in a pot, hence “chamber pot”. The king had a special retainer who was in charge of pot, hence “chamberlain”. The first to see the king’s poop, the first to say “all is well, long live the King!

    Apparently you are Kings/Queen of the Trail!

  3. I supervise six ridgerunners on the AT. At a national trails day event today one of our ridgerunners was asked what her job was about. Her answer: poop!

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